I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
