So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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