sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
