Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
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I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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