i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Randomize
