You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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