Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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