wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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