you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
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Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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