you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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