I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
