drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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