i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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