fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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