Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
