Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
