She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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