My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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