the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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