OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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