i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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