i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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