Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A+ Viking dick
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