so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
