Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This house was built for laser tag.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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