That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you win again, gameday.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
