Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
