brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if you like me you must not know who I am
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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