let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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