dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
