im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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