omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
