I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
