the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
