next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
