Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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