Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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