physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Can I color on your dick again?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
