is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Come on in and take your pants off
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