I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dual....:-)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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