I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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