last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
