He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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