never play flip cup with pint glasses
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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