i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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