We're like a lot better than the average bears
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Less talking, more tequila
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
