these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
