i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
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I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
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