awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
