You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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