Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
