Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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