and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
