How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im so drunk with asians
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
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