their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
