She said her name was "party"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
