how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
