Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
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Let's get real, we all know why you were holding that sock.
perhaps one had conveniently been doing something else into a sock.
I wanted to buy a vibrator for my pet elephant but they didn't have any big enough at the whore-store so I just kidnapped Michael J. Fox
The only real question is where the sock was being held
I call bullshit
He was obviously wasted and you can't Jack off when your wasted so try again
Im gonna guest that you were doing laundry and mistaken your blue gator aid with bleach and so you dranked the bleach and threw up in the sock that you were using to masterbate with. Which is why you were doing laundry.
I'm guessing you ran out of toilet paper and were using your sock to wipe your ass?