Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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