question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
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I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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