Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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