She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
