i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize