lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
