Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
